Meerah – Going to the Market, American-style.

January 31, 2008 at 9:37 pm (Uncategorized)

Meerah has a problem. 

I followed the nice lady’s suggestion and put some of my book into this blog.  It was nice to see more of Meerah’s wisdom going out into the world-wide nest.  Perhaps there are people out there who do not know how to make firepits.  Those people would be a great nuisance to their neighbors.  It made Meerah very happy to think that she was helping these people and their neighbors.  I decided to help some more by sharing my wisdom about going to the market.  After all, those people who did not know about firepits until Meerah typed most likely have no idea of how to argue for the best vegetables or harangue the butcher for the best goat.  These people are probably annoying their neighbors, begging them for a share in their dinner or extending their visits until good manners require the unfortunate neighbors to extend the hospitality of a meal.  This is not good.  It makes Meerah very sad, and slightly angry. 

So Meerah is ready to type about shopping for food.  She has many tips ready for those unfortunate and irritating souls who did not know about firepits and do not know the right pitch and inflection for successful bargaining.  Then, the nice lady calls.  She read Meerah’s blog about cooking and firepits.  At first, she seems happy that Meerah has followed her suggestion.  Then, she asks what Meerah will be typing about next.  So I tell her. 

She does not think learning to judge the quality of goods in a market stall by comparing the length of chin hairs on the stall-holders is important.  She says this is not going to create the buzz we want.  I explain to her about the poor, ignorant and irritating people who do not know about firepits and bargaining.  I say that sharing my wisdom with them is important.  It will stop the buzzing of angry neighbors and relatives who are tired of taking care of these foolish ones.

I think the nice lady has a health problem.  Her breathing became very loud and heavy on the phone.  Then, there was silence.  I hung up because I was afraid she was dead and I did not want to be on the phone with a ghost.  When she called back, she scared me so much I dropped the phone. 

After a long while with much talking, the nice lady gave Meerah some more suggestions.  Meerah’s marketing wisdom for those who are irritating their neighbors will wait.  The nice lady explained that there are many people who do not know how to shop for food in America.  Meerah wondered how these people survived, and why there hadn’t been a revolt among the neighbors in America.  The nice lady explained some more.  She said neighbors do not feed each other in America, instead they eat out.  Meerah was appalled.  Eating out does not mean eating outside in the yard – it means eating from a restaurant.  This is not good.

So now, Meerah has a problem.  Do I help the ignorant who are irritating their neighbors, or do I help those who are so ignorant they are irritating me?  Pfffpt.  It is no problem.  I will help all the ignorant and irritating ones.  But first, I help those that are irritating me.  

Meerah is not as familiar with shopping in the market, American-style.  So I will visit some markets and share my wisdom after that.  When I tell the nice lady this plan, she says it is good and will help with the buzz.  I told her I am tired of hearing about the buzz, and I am typing about shopping in the market to stop the buzzing of angry neighbors and relatives. 

The nice lady’s breathing became very loud and heavy again on the phone, but she made sure to tell me she was not dead.  She also told me there is no world-wide nest.  It is a web.  Meerah thinks this is disgusting.  Spiders make webs.  The nice lady hung up after that. 

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Here is what I am writing.

January 28, 2008 at 8:19 pm (Uncategorized)
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To everyone who is reading Meerah’s blog I say, “Thank you.”  You are all helping to make the buzz so the nice lady will tell the publisher to print my book. 

The nice lady is very helpful.  She has many suggestions for Meerah.  (Sometimes I listen; sometimes I count watermelon seeds in my head.)  Today she suggested that I put some of the wisdom from my book into this blog.  At first this makes no sense to me.  Why would people buy Meerah’s book if they have already read all her wisdom in this blog?  Then I remembered.  Meerah has so much wisdom in her head.  I could always add more things to the book.  There is no problem.  So here you go . . . here is what I am writing.

How to Cook

  1. Check your firepit.  Make sure it is clean and that you are not missing any bricks. 
  2. If your firepit is not clean and you are missing bricks, then someone has used your firepit.  They left a mess and stole your bricks.  This can be easily fixed.
  3. Find out who used your pit and make them clean the mess.  Also, make them put the bricks back. 
  4. If you can’t find out who used the pit, you might have to clean it yourself.  This is not fun, but it is necessary.  If the ashes are still hot, pull back your sleeves.  Once the pit is clean, you can worry about the missing bricks.
  5. Borrow bricks from your neighbor.  It is probably best to take bricks from a crumbling corner of their wall or house.  Or, if they have a messy firepit, take some from there.  But do not steal, just borrow.  When you have finished cooking, invite your neighbors over for dinner.  They will appreciate this if they have a messy firepit or a hole in their house.

You say, “What if I don’ t have a firepit?”  This is a very foolish question, but Meerah will answer.  If you don’t have a firepit, you must dig one.  You cannot expect your neighbors to always feed you.  Although if they feed you often enough, they may decide to dig your firepit themselves.  But, if you have to make your own here is what you do.

  1. Choose a good spot.  Too far from the house and your food and bricks are quickly stolen.  Too close and your house is always full of smoke.  Best to choose a spot you can easily watch where the winds will blow the smoke into your neighbor’s house.
  2. Dig the pit.  This is hard work.  If your neighbors are not yet disgusted enough with you to do this, you may have to do this yourself.  I reccomend asking a relative you do not like to do this task.  Try reminding them how fortunate they are to be in the same family as you.
  3. Clean pit and line with bricks.  While your relative is still there, have them follow the earlier directions for cleaning and lining the pit.  This way your neighbors will not blame you for their missing bricks. 

Now, you should be ready to cook.  Next, Meerah will address going to the market.  Pay particular attention to the sections on:  Choosing, not Cheating – Getting the Best Fresh Vegetables; and Don’t Wait till the End of the Day – That’s When They Bring out the Almost-Dead.  The last section will be part of my large chapter on goats.  I have smaller chapters on chicken and sheep. 

So that is what Meerah is writing.  Enjoy. 

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Blogging is hard.

January 25, 2008 at 1:58 pm (Uncategorized)

So here is Meerah again.  Typing some more.  This blogging is hard work.  Not the thinking of something to write.  That is no problem.  Meerah’s head is full of things to share, much like a pumpkin with all the seeds, or a large corn cob with all the kernels, or a large sack, full of rice.  Maybe I should stop now.  I am very hungry.

I am back now – not hungry anymore.  What was Meerah typing about?  Oh yes, how hard this blogging is.  I have many ideas, and the nice lady who helps me showed me how to type and set me up with this blog.  She said I must work hard, and I must share the blog with other people.  So I type, then I try to share.  This does not work out the way the nice lady said it would.   

Today this nice lady told me that I sent out invitations to people to start their own blogs instead of telling them to come read mine.  What foolishness is this?  Meerah is frustrated and slightly angry about this.  How will we get the buzz if people do not read Meerah’s blog?  Maybe we need a goat.

OK.  The nice lady explained some more about the invitations.  Meerah used the wrong buttons on the screen.  I sent out e-mails to the people I invited with a line they can use to read Meerah’s blog, and I told them to stop typing their own blogs because they do not have enough wisdome to share.  The nice lady was not sure about that line, but I know. 

She also says we definitely do not need a goat.  I say, we’ll see. 

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I blog at last.

January 24, 2008 at 10:20 pm (Uncategorized)

Finally, Meerah blogs.  I’m not sure what I am doing, but I am doing it. 

What is this thing – a blog?  And why is Meerah using it?  Good questions.  I do this because my publisher says to.  That’s write, I mean, right.  The nice lady who was so helpful with my calendar now says I need more “exposure” before the publisher will print my book.  I tell the nice lady that I wear the heavy coat and mittens to avoid the “exposure.”  

She laughed, then said I needed to ”generate a buzz with a blog.”  What?  That sounds terrible – like something that could happen if you bought an old goat at the market.  She explained some more, told me it was typing.  Meerah can do that. 

 So here I am, typing in a blog.  (This word, blog, still bothers me.)  Could someone quickly start buzzing so the nice lady will print my book? 

OK, I am done now.   

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